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September 2, 2006

UK: Halal Muslim Chocolate Bars To Go On Sale At Tescos

Do you want to change the world? Then if the advertising slogan is to be trusted, all you have to do is pig out on a halal chocolate bar. It's true! We never lie at WR. A company in Essex called Ummah Foods has been manufacturing a "halal" chocolate bar since 2004. The Ummah Bar (pictured) comes in a caramel flavor, the original product, and also has a "yummy" Orange Creme version with, unsurprisingly, an "orange creme center".

And 10% of the proceeds are to be donated to charity. From recent experience, we hope Ummah Foods do not supply donations to Crescent Relief or Interpal or other charities that support Islamist terror. Now that would be helping to change the world. But merely by scoffing chocolate, you too can change the world, according to their advertising slogan: "Ask for Ummah Caramel Chocolate next time you want some tasty chocolate and also want to change the world Insha'Allah." Oh yes, we want to change the world, but having all Muslims abandon their faith is probably not the sort of change these guys mean.

Already the chocolate bars are on sale in Queen Mary and Westfield Universities, St Bartholomews and The London Hospitals, and the London Markaz, as well as many newsagents in east London, where there is a high Muslim clientele.

And to be fair on Ummah Foods, their product appears to taste good. A video from You Tube shows unsuspecting British civilians having Ummah Bars thrust in their faces. Rather than reacting violently, these individuals claim to enjoy the taste. The video, which seems to be made by Ummah Foods, appears too amateur to have involved paid actors.

So what is halal chocolate? Well it means the milk comes from a halal source - and probably not from a cow that has been turned upside down and had its throat (or udders) slit open. The company's website has a page of press releases, none of which say the product tasted bad, though few reviewers seemed to have tried it themselves.

And hey - if you buy a headscarf from the Hijab Shop you can get an Ummah Bar with every purchase, if the promotional offer is still valid. As Ummah Foods say: "Who can resist that!"

And now as a sign of the company's transition from minor outlets to the mainstream, Yorkshire Today reports that supermarket chain Tescos, founded by a Jew, has agreed to supply Ummah caramel and orange creme bars in Bradford and Batley stores, and also in Slough and Watford.

The product will be on sale in time for Ramadan, which begins this year on September 24. During Ramadan, snacking during the day is forbidden, but when the sun has set in its muddy pond and before it gets out again, pigging out on Ummah Bars is guaranteed to give a devout Muslim those extra calories needed to survive the rest of the day.

And the folks at Ummah Foods have only the best intentions according to the blurb on their website: "Our aim is to give the sweet loving Muslim community in the UK something that tastes really good, and also has a positive impact on the world Insha'Allah. We would like to be a community-based business where at every stage of our work we can take actions that will please Allah (swt) and help our community Insha'Allah."

This product seems to be faring much better than the British attempt to market Islamic Cola. The Qibla Cola Company, which made a cola called Qibla, named after the direction of prayer for Muslims, went bust in September last year. Far more successful has been Mecca Cola, made in UAE, whose sales soared during the Danish cartoon protests in February. What better way to slake one's thirst while screeching for the death of infidels than quaffing on a cola named after Mecca?

And now if you feel peckish while calling for the overthrow of the West, you can snack on a caramel or orange flavored chocolate bar while you damn those infidels. May Allah be praised.

Posted by Giraldus Cambrensis at September 2, 2006 10:52 PM

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